Road to Recovery: Repairing Relationships

Small Group Questions
Think back—before your faith became ‘real’ and personal. Before you were dedicated to following Christ.
Without too many personal details, what kind of person were you? How would you have described yourself then? Has there been a radical change in you since Jesus has become real to you?
Have you ever wanted to contact someone from your past and explain that “you’ve changed”(Like at a class reunion)?
If you’ve tried to do so, how did it go?

We all have things we regret in our lives…each of us have a list of those we’ve hurt—perhaps deeply—in our past. We also have a list of those who have hurt us—perhaps deeply.
Which of these two have more power to do damage to us now?

If we are going to continue on the Road to Recovery, we must embrace Step #6: “Evaluate all my relationships. Offer Forgiveness to those who’ve hurt me, and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.”
Part 1 of this is to evaluate my relationships—specifically those in need of my forgiveness.
Again, without too many personal details, who are some of the people who have deeply affected you, and whom you think God might be moving you to forgive?
Read Ephesians 4:31-32: Who are the people in your life (past or present), who you are bitter or angry about?
Paul says that we should be ‘kind and compassionate, tender-hearted; forgiving each other…”
Why is this so hard in that situation?

Paul says we should forgive “As the Lord forgave us”.
Talk about God’s forgiveness…list as many truths as you can about it. (ie., undeserved, etc.)
Read Ephesians 2:4-5, 8-9; Colossians 3:13.
As a follower of Christ, why should we forgive others?

Read Luke 7:41-47: Why does the woman care so much for Jesus?
How do you relate to that?

Rick Warren says that, in order to be free from my ‘hurts’, I should: 1) Reveal my pain (admit it, share it with a trusted friend, etc.); 2) Release the offender; and 3) Replace my hurt with God’s Peace.
Are there any ‘hurts’ or pain from your past that you’ve never shared with anyone?

Are there hurts that you’ve tried to ignore/pretend never happened?

Have you successfully “released” (forgiven) the offender?
How will you know?
If you can think of them w/o feeling anger/pain.
If you can pray for them.
If you can commit yourself to forgive, every time they come to mind.
If you can ask God to have mercy on them.
…then you’ve forgiven them.
Is there anyone that God is bringing to your mind whom you need to forgive?

Part 2: Make amends, “except when to do so would cause harm to them or others”.
Think back. Without too many personal details, who are the people that you’ve hurt in your life—at a deep level?
Read Matthew 5:23-24: Why would it be so important to Jesus that we go and “be reconciled” before proceeding to the altar?

Who (on my list of ‘people I’ve offended’) is the Lord leading you to go “make amends” to?
What is stopping you from doing so?

If the Lord moves you to, Rick Warren says that there are 3 things to keep in mind:
Timing, Attitude, and Appropriateness.

WHO is ‘in focus’ when you’re thinking about ‘making amends’?
WHAT should be our attitude? (Hint: Read Ephesians 4:15)

Read Matthew 7:12
HOW should we approach this situation?


Take some time to pray and consider—personally—What does God want to do with all of this in your life and relationships?